Sam's Notes about Titus Andronicus Edit

Fantastic edit by the group - very strong indeed, and of a pretty much professional standard. I've made some notes, see below. As they are working at such a high level, my notes are more about specific little things that should be easily tweaked, as opposed to any structural / major things. Obviously they may choose to disagree with some of them, but these are the changes I would make.

 

I like the music, and am wondering what it is? I'm assuming its public domain, could you confirm that it is please?

 

Here are my notes:

0.15

the march through the field - I can see the idea of the dissolves through the march, but I don't think it works visually - too clunky and messy looking. If the motivation is to shorten the screen time of this sequence, perhaps inserting the close up of the feet in between 2 sections of the wide would work, if not, either let the wide run long or cut in/out of it sooner.

 

0.59

C/U of feet climbing hill - soundmix - audio a bit too loud.

 

1.32

"roman's make way.." audio too loud at beginning of this line.

 

1.44

close up just before introduction of titus a bit too short/jarring - can it be extended a little (or if not, perhaps cut).

 

1.48

cutaway of hands - shot is drifting on an inelegant pan, is there a static/steady C/U alternative that does the same job?

 

1.47

lovely shot of the prisoners looking worried - but a bit brief - could it be extended so we hear a bit of the next line underneath it ("give us the proudest prisoner of the goths..")

 

2.28

could we establish titus listening to Tamora's plea here perhaps? the cut here between two slightly different angles of tamora is a little awkward, and introducing titus's ambivalence (then cutting back to it later) would be a good solution, plus it would cover the camera drift as she says 'if thy sons were ever dear to thee…"

 

General note on the music - I like it, but am wondering if its a little too repetitive by this point - its been going on (what sounds like) a short loop for a few minutes now - could it be faded sooner, lowered in the mix, or something else added?  there is a danger of it having a sort of 'wallpaper effect' 

 

3.35

Good handling of the execution scene - just one note, the shot where she is put down on the ground (a side angle from the second cam) sticks out a bit, as its not that well framed - cropping out her head as she kneels. it does match the action, but is there a better framed alternative for this bit?

 

3.35

'Alabus goes to rest' - minor point, but it might be better to start with the 3 of them looking out from the alternative angle, as it shows them looking towards trees/wooded area, creating an associative link to the earlier scenes.

 

4.31

shot of one of the brothers nodding to signal tamora is too brief and flashes a bit jarringly, extend it  a little.

 

4.36

Tamora saying 'go!' she is moving away as she's says this, it then cuts and we see her in the background still - can this transition be smoothed - either by using an alternate take (in which she doesn't walk off), or by cutting to the figures in the foreground of the next shot as they are masking her in the background. not a big deal though - you may have already found the best solution.

 

5.20

"I am revenge..' overlay - I like this, it can be neatened up using a bit of re-framing and compositing/grading - students can try this, I also have some powerful post production tools that will help.